


The Radiant and The Messenger Girl

by Shouldbedoinghomework



Category: Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Female radiant, Fluff and Angst, Not Happily Ever After
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28090650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shouldbedoinghomework/pseuds/Shouldbedoinghomework
Summary: “ Who are you? I didn't realize we had a new messenger girl in camp” Adolin said, a lazy grin barely kept off his face. I had just entered his tent, trying to skirt the tables piled with maps and plans and notes to deliver yet another one. He lounged across a chair, Shallan sitting somewhat more primly next to him, sketchpad in her lap.Kaladin stood a few feet away, brow furrowed in concentration over a map. His head jerked up at Adolins words and he tensed, as if I was, in fact, some spy sent to kill them all, eyes darting up and down my short frame as if assessing me as a threat.I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.“ One little bad haircut and you can't even recognize me? I blame your father for not thinking hairdressers are essential for war camps.” I quipped.-----------------Kaladin meets messenger girl. Messenger girl meets a very unexpected life change. Will their budding relationship survive it?
Relationships: Dalinar Kholin/Navani Kholin, Kaladin/Original Character, Shallan Davar/Adolin Kholin
Kudos: 9





	1. The meeting

“ Who are you? I didn't realize we had a new messenger girl in camp” Adolin said, a lazy grin barely kept off his face. I had just entered his tent, trying to skirt the tables piled with maps and plans and notes to deliver yet another one. He lounged across a chair, Shallan sitting somewhat more primly next to him, sketchpad in her lap.  
Kaladin stood a few feet away, brow furrowed in concentration over a map. His head jerked up at Adolins words and he tensed, as if I was, in fact, some spy sent to kill them all, eyes darting up and down my short frame as if assessing me as a threat.  
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.  
“ One little bad haircut and you can't even recognize me? I blame your father for not thinking hairdressers are essential for war camps.” I quipped. Kaladin looked slightly taken aback. Adolin laughed.  
“ Nice to see you again, Jin . I didn't know you got transferred here. Weren't you working on the other side of camp?” He asked.  
“ Yes but due to a shortage of messengers who are willing to put up with looking at you I've been relocated. Hope you can get used to seeing my face frequently.” I said. Shallan raised a brow at my familiar tone. Truthfully, it was a shortage of messengers in general, and ones who wouldn't hesitate to tell Adolin off for missing meetings. Dalinar had personally sent a message for me requesting the transfer, as the old ones were too intimidated by the trio in front of me to be effective.  
“ Her parents used to work around the castle so we’ve known each other for ages” Adolin explained. She nodded, eyes darting back to her sketchbook. I handed him the note I held, brushing a few strands of black hair from that aforementioned terrible haircut out of my eyes.  
“ Dalinar sent this. He’s in a meeting about the food supply that you were supposed to attend” I said. He made a face. Shallan opened the note and read the curt words on it.  
“ I knew I was forgetting something,” Adolin whined.  
“ As if you didn't forget on purpose” Kaladin said, returning his attention to his map, an intricately drawn rendering of the plains.  
“ How can you forget something on purpose? Seems unlikely.” Shallan replied. She wore an elegant but casual silver gown, safehand tucked away. It made my leather trousers and white blouse, safehand in a black glove, feel underdressed. I moved to step from the tent.  
“ Would you like a drink? Or something to eat?” I heard Kaladin offer. I shook my head.  
“ I have quite a few more messages to deliver. But I appreciate the offer, Brightlord” I said.  
He shook his head.  
“ I'm not a Brightlord” He corrected.  
“ Partial Brightlord? No one is sure what to call you. We debate it frequently. But anyway” I said, then darted from the tent, cutting off further conversation. Talking to Bright Lords, or quasi Brightlords, tended to give girls like me reputations.  
“ Come back” I heard Adolin call, just when I thought I was in the clear. I sighed and ducked back into the room.  
“ Yes?”  
“ You can spare a few minutes to eat and catch me up. I haven't seen you in years.” He said, motioning for me to sit at the table. I wasn't quite sure if it was an invitation or an order, but I obliged. I was hungry. I sat, serving myself some of the food that was on the table.  
“ So bookmark was at leaving university, trying to work but finding it incredibly boring and coming here to help out, correct?” I asked. Bookmarks, as we called them, were our way of remembering where we had left off in our friendship, as we didn't really keep track of each other and often went a year or two without speaking. He pretended he needed one too, as if I didn't have ears to the gossip mill that churned out every detail of his life.  
He nodded.  
“ So I've been here for a year, doing the messenger thing. Got food poisoning, made friends with a few guys who I then had to reject, kept one of them though. A girl decided I was a whore because she was betrothed to one of said guys, she spread some fun rumors about me. Then I got transferred to this area of camp and my lodgings moved up to that cool fortress on the hills. You?” I said, digging into my plate. I had just taken a bite when I looked up to two shocked faces.  
“ Festive. Lets see...I fought in a couple battles, got betrothed to a Radiant, my father may or may not be a heretic who married his dead brother's wife. I have a nasty splinter that I can't get rid of, and the laundress here keeps mixing up my clothes with Renarin’s” He said. I nodded. I knew most of that information. Except for the last bits I knew he threw in for dramatic effect. I coughed, the spice from the meat I was eating hitting me.  
Kaladin offered me a cup of water, and I gulped it down, trying not to concern myself with the fact that he was a Brightlord and shouldn't be waiting on me and focus on not dying.  
“ I was going to warn you that it was their food. Would you like me to have a maid fetch something else?” Shallan asked. I shook my head quickly and stood, grabbing some plain bread to numb the pain.  
“ I'm alright really” I coughed, trying to clear the last of it from my throat.  
“ Would you like anything else? More water?” Kaladin asked. I shook my head and avoided his now-brown eyes. It was unsettling, knowing how they change. It seemed to go against the very fabric of our society. Actually, it did go against it. I stood and tugged my bag back on.  
“ I do have to go. See you later, Brightlord, Brightness.. Bright-ish” I added, and Adolin barked out a laugh. Kaladin looked mildly amused and insulted, but I left before I could face rebuke.  
I scurried from the tent, clearing my throat again. I'm surprised that it didn't blow my cover.

_________________

“ What sort of messenger girl hasnt had spicy food before? That's odd” Kaladin commented as soon as she cleared from view, watching her go in the small tent windows.  
“ Not really, she grew up around the palace.” Adolin said, changing the conversion by leaning over the map he was studying and commenting on the position of the mock soldiers on the plane.  
“ He's lying” Pattern offered helpfully from where he was perched on the couch. Shallan looked at Adolin curiously.  
“ Is she an ex-lover? She’s pretty” She offered, trying to keep her voice casual. Adolin sighed.  
“ She’s not an ex. Her parents were quite wealthy, almost light-eyes status when we were young which is why we saw so much of each other, but they lost everything a few years ago when her parents died. Time has not been easy on her.” He said with surprising tenderness.  
“ Time has not been easy on many of us, it seems.” Kaladin commented, brushing a hand subconsciously across a scarred forehead.  
“ We should have a dinner party” Alodin declared, clapping his hands together and breaking the somber mood. He had a suspicious gleam in his eyes.  
Kaladin did not deign to reply, giving the impression that this occurred frequently. Shallan went back to her sketchbook, pattern whizzing up and around the folds of her skirt like an errant fly.  
“ You are no fun.” Adolin complained.

_______________________________

“ YOU” I heard a shout across the field. I whirled round, bag banging against my hip as I went.

“ You're working with Dalinar’s son now, right? Get him to this meeting.” The general declared, shoving a slip into my hand. I nodded sharply and started towards his tent. I had been here for a week and my new position had already spread, every general using me for what I knew should be their personal errands. Ridiculous. I tried not to grin, knowing that I should enjoy this position as much as I did.But I did, I liked being busy, inactivity drove me mad. Plus, the new lodgings were pretty good. I arrived at his tent, announcing my entrance before popping into the tent.

“ Not another meeting” He groaned. He looked like he just sat down at the table, Shallan nowhere to be seen. It seemed I interrupted his meal. 

“ Sorry, but you have to be there. Grab a sandwich to go.” I suggested. He looked at me blankly. Ugh, Brighteyes. I marched over and took a roll of bread, slicing it in half and slapping some meat in between it before closing it and handing it to him. 

“ A sandwich. Now go” I declared, handing him the paper with the location. He took a bite as he walked, looking impressed. Kaladin had just started walking into the tent, passing him as he went. 

“ Does Dalinar force him to go to these meetings to try to bore him enough that he might actually listen?” He asked curiously. I shrugged. It wasn't my place to speculate, but I'm pretty sure that was the exact reason. He sat down at the table, then paused. 

“ Was Adolin holding a sandwich?” he asked incredulously. I laughed. 

“ He thought it was the greatest invention in the world. Shame that it was made hundreds of years ago.” I said. Kaladin shook his head and muttered ‘Light Eyes’. I stared at him. 

“ I am not a Light Eyes” He stated, pointing to his eyes, which were in fact, brown. I didn't argue. He looked like he wanted me too. The silence stretched slightly too far. 

“ I'm sure I'll be seeing you around, Bright-ish” I said, then left abruptly. I almost didn't catch his response.

“ I’m looking forward to it” 

  
  



	2. The Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaladin is terrible at flirting, but so is Jin.

The night had started to shift, the sun slipping out of the sky. The last shift through the oath gates had gone, Shallan opening the gate with practised ease. I still sat in the tent, pouring over notes and books, enjoying the quiet the almost empty war camp afforded. I could always return later. Perks of being Radiant. I was surprised when he heard someone running at a frantic pace to the tent, steps too light to be a man. 

A face, shrouded in black hair and looking very distressed, popped in. It was Jin, the girl from earlier, and she looked panicked. I jumped up, hand already reaching for Syl before I realized it.  
“ What's wrong? Are we under attack?” I demanded, sword solidifying in my hand. She shook her head, taking a step back at the sight of the blade, and what I knew were glassy blue eyes.  
“ My necklace.. It fell off and I can't find it anywhere. It was a gift from..” She trailed off.  
“ Im sorry, its stupid I should have frightened you like that” She stepped back. I let Syl go, and she vanished with a huff, whizzing out of the tent muttering about stupid radiants inturupting her nap.  
“ I can help you look for it, I understand the sentimental value it must hold” I said, trying not to frighten her off. The girl seemed to dart about like a rabbit, triggered by the smallest thing to disappear. She stepped back into the tent, peering around in the dark. I sucked in some stormlight and lit up my hand, using it to look over the floor. She stared. I spotted a small tangle of silver under the table leg, and grabbed it. Her dark eyes lit up.  
“ Thank you. A million times over. It means a lot to me” She said sincerely, looking up at me to meet my eyes. She moved to back out of the tent. To where, I did not know, as Shallan was long gone with the last group for the night. I told her as much. She cursed, then apologized for doing so.  
“ Looks like I'm camping out. Hopefully no Parshendi gets peckish at night” She laughed. She didn't seem concerned about the idea, all fear vanishing when her necklace was found.  
“ I’m going back soon. Or I could go now, if you would rather.” I offered.  
“ Oh. Whenever.” She said. She genuinely didn't seem to mind, so I sat back down to the graphs and book in front of me.  
“ Would you like me to read it to you?” She asked. Perhaps news of my tragic ability to read hadn't swept through the camps completely yet. For some reason that I couldn't place, I nodded. Perhaps I was tired, or the adrenaline crash from a few moments ago had hit. Or perhaps I wanted to hear her voice rather than the empty silence. She sat next to me on the table, picking up the book and clearing her throat. She began to read in a crisp but pleasant tone, a voice clearly practised. I pretended to look down at the graphs so she wouldn't feel my eyes on her. I let some time pass before I began to feel foolish for allowing her to read to me, like I was some haughty lighteyes. I told her that it was getting late and we should get going. She nodded and snapped the book closed, placing it back down at the table. We started walking towards the Oathgate, and it occurred to me that I hadn't done so in ages. I had grown used to flying, but the stroll was nice. At least, for me it was.  
“ Could you slow down a tad” She huffed. I realized that I had been so lost in thought that I hadn't noticed her slipping behind me into her darkness.  
“ Sorry. You walk slowly” I said, then mentally cursed myself. That was absolutely not a comment to make to a lady. I was spending too much time around bridge four.  
“ Apologies that I'm not a mammoth, Brightlord” She snapped. I realized that she, like I had, used the word as an insult. It stung far more than she knew. I ignored it but slowed my walk to match hers. She was quite short, at least a foot and a bit shorter than me, so it wasn't really her fault. I tried to think of any possible conversation to break the silence, but none came to mind. All I knew now was Radiants, battle, and brightlord politics. I didn't suppose those would interest her.  
“ Does your mother live with you?” I tried. Family could be touchy, but from what Adolin said she was close to hers.  
“ No. I live with the other camp staff at a godforsaken side of the tower. My mother is a few feet underground in Alethkar” she said quietly. Dear Odin above, I could not have made it any worse. She probably hasn't mentioned it to Adolin so that it wouldn't be made a big deal of.  
“ Do you think there are star spren and we just cannot see them from down here?” She blurted, effectively saving me from any half-apology that I would have felt obligated to mutter. I thought about it.  
“ Perhaps. Perhaps the sun and moon have spren too. Or they are spren.” I said.  
“ That doesn't seem possible” She said. As if on cue, Syl whizzed by.  
“ Why not? If a spren can be a sword it can be a moon. Or perhaps there is one spren who is a moon and one the sun.” Syl said, perching on my shoulder. Jin tripped over her feet and landed on her knees, quickly pulling herself back up before I could even offer a hand.  
“ I'm Syl” Syl said plainly. I looked at her in surprise. She really chose to reveal herself to the most assorted group of people. Rock would be insulted.  
“ Jin, Syl, Syl, Jin” I introduced quickly. Jin kept walking, but her slightly stumbling gait and flash of painspren told me she injured herself.  
“ Are you okay?” I asked, trying to ascertain what was wrong. Her trouser leg had ripped, but I couldn't tell how bad it was. She shook off my concern.  
“ That's...a spren?” she asked, staring at Syl who had now taken to zipping around to show off. She wore a miniature gown, not unlike the one Shallan wore this morning. Copycat.  
“ Yes? They're confusing” I said. The painspren zipped around her knee, distracting me.  
“ Can I take a look at that?” I asked her, trying to use the gentlest tone I had in my arsenal, buried beneath General Kaladin/Brightlord Kaladin/Radiant Kaladin. It wasn't one I used often, but it seemed to work, because she paused.  
“ We're in the middle of a dark plain. It's best that we get back safely, then worry about a little scrape on my knee” She said. I almost took offense to her worrying about her safety with a Radiant, but decided to agree with her. Syl zipped along with us, chatting about her day to a very amused Jin. We walked back to the Oathgate and I summoned Syl as the blade, transferring us quickly to the other side. We began walking the endless route to the tower, and I pretended to ignore her wincing as we went. We made it past the first sentry tower, and I wasn't too surprised to find a bridge four member behind it.  
“ Kaladin” Rock nodded, respectful as always. He eyes the girl next to me with a tinge of confusion.  
“ This is Jin. Do you have a first aid kit in the sentry room?” I asked. He nodded and motoned us behind the small station. The room, like all sentry rooms, were tucked almost invisibly behind a curve or bend, entrance blocked by the small wall the sentries stood behind. It was usually a place to rest or eat, as this one clearly was. A few chairs and a bed were scattered in the small space, and a pot of soup bubbled in the corner, tended to by rocks gentle stirrings. Two men sat in the corner, playing some card game. They glanced up with interest as we entered, eyes looking over the girl appreciatively. I squared my shoulders and glared at them and they immediately averted their gaze.  
Rock handed me a small kit and I motioned for Jin to sit and roll up her trousers. She sat primly on the edge of the bed.  
“ I don't think this is necessary, it's just a little scrape” She insisted. Perhaps she was embarrassed to expose her leg in front of the men. I opened my mouth to kick them out, but she pulled up her cuff before I could say anything. I heard her gasp quietly.  
I crouched down on the floor in front of her, rinsing my hands with a shard of soap and a bottle of water I found nearby.  
“ How did I not feel that?” She wondered out loud at the two inch rock lodged in her knee, blood streaming around it freely. She didn't seem to be turned off by the wound, but perhaps she had seen worse on the battlefield. Messengers had to be ready for such things.  
“ Your body helps you by numbing the area, to deal with the sudden pain. But it will start to hurt soon” I said. I carefully tugged the rock from her knee, gauze in my other hand to slip over and stop what I knew would be an onslaught of blood. I held it there for a few seconds, glancing up at her face of utter concentration. I waited until the bleeding seemed to stop and pulled it away. I prepared the antiseptic.  
“ This is the part that will hurt.” I warned. She gritted her teeth and nodded sharply. I quickly poured it over her wound, making sure I had reached the whole area to prevent infection.  
She took in a sharp breath, muttered an impressive string of curses, and instinctively reached for the hand that poured, fingers tightening on my wrist to stop me. I paused. Her fingers dug in with surprising strength, but I quickly tilted the bottle once more until I was satisfied. Her fingers didn't leave my hand as she breathed through the pain, eyes screwed shut.  
Then they darted open, and she seemed to remember herself. She jerked her hand back.  
“ I'm so sorry.” She said, eyes meeting mine then lowering. I know what she saw, the still blue ones gazing back at her from summoning Syl earlier. A Light Eyes. I carefully applied salve and bandaged it. She carefully rolled her pants back down, standing cautiously.  
“ Thank you for your help. I owe you one, Veriti little that may mean” She said quietly, still not meeting my gaze. Rock busied himself in the corner, pretending he wasn't listening in on our conversation.  
“ It means a lot. It's always good to have friends around camp. Can I walk you back?” I asked, but I already knew what her answer would be. I didn't blame her, considering what she told Adolin earlier about the rumors about her in camp. She didn't need to add to it by having a Light Eyes escort her back. She shook her head.  
“ I'll be alright. Thank you, again, Bright-” She cut herself off.  
“ Bright-ish?” I supplied, smirking. She smiled then, face shifting into something incredible.  
She allowed me to walk her to the main portion of the tower. She absentmindedly pulled out an almost dun sphere to guide the way. The tower attempted to conserve energy by removing spheres after-hours, and I cursed the notion now. I quickly, before she could notice or object, infused some light into it. She gave me a farewell in the form of a slight bow, and disappeared into the dark.  
I walked back to the sentry tower to see Rock, and perhaps get some of that soup. He greeted me again heartily, as if I had not just parted moments earlier, and offered me some. We sat across from each other on small chairs, basking in the silence. The two men playing cards earlier had taken up duty, leaving us the room.  
“ Who is that Jin?” He asked abruptly.  
“ Messenger girl. Works for Adolin now.” I said, not adding much more. I finished my bowl, the day had caught up to me and I was suddenly exhausted. Rock looked surprisingly thoughtful.  
“ She is small. Would not survive in the mountains. But you seem to like-” he said.  
“ She is. And no, I don't. I was just looking out for her, like I would any of you.” I cut off, trying to quell any rumors before they started. He didn't seem too convinced, but said nothing further. He gave me a quick bridge four saute before I left for the night.  
I stepped back outside, inhaled some stormlight, and flew up to my room. I tried not to wonder if she made it back to hers. Not my concern, I reminded myself, not my concern. 

_____________________________


	3. The Conversation (and the kiss)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alcohol helps smooth everything over.

I arrived at the training grounds, ignoring the looks I grew from the soldiers. I marched onto the sandy floor, flicking my braid behind me. The area was littered in fighting pairs, and I had a painful flashback of visiting a similar arena when I was younger, except it had been to visit my father, and no one dared give me the looks they gave me now. I saw a few figures in white directing the men, none too gently, through the classic training exercises. I searched until I found my target. Kaladin stood to the side, Oathblade in hand and eyes blazing blue, fiercely in battle with one of the soldiers. I walked over and waited for their bout to end, watching in appreciation as they waltzed a deadly dance, seeming equal in skill. Kaladin’s eyes flickered to me, but he didn't falter, ending the fight with a quick blow that made me think he was toying with the man before. He strolled over, blade disappearing in a flash. He wiped a hand across his sweaty forehead, Shash brand on display.   
“ Dalinar called a meeting in one hours time in his tent. I already told Adolin” I said, not bothering to hand him the slip of paper detailing the message. He nodded, not arguing as Adolin often did.   
“ How is your knee?” He asked. It had been two days since he helped me find my necklace and carefully bandaged me up, and it seemed to be healing nicely. But I was bored today.  
“ Seems great. It's so hot I could fry an egg on it” I said brightly. His eyes widened and he jumped up, abandoning the jug of water he was about to pick up.   
“ Let me see it. I cleaned it well, it shouldn't be infected unless…” he started mumbling to himself, trying out different options as he spoke. I couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up. This man worried far too much. I pulled up my pant leg and showed him that it was, in fact, perfectly fine, and he scowled.   
“ See, my slow-walking legs are just fine,” I said. He seemed to realize that I was getting some retribution and relaxed. He picked up the water and drank from it, shaking hands with the soldier who he had just sparred with. The soldier, one who I realised I had recognized when he removed his helmet, smirked at me, eyes gleaming in the sun. I stepped back. Kaldins eyes darted between us, catching the exchange.  
“ Nice to see you again, Jin. Still sleeping with every soldier in the force?” He said genially, his tone not betraying the salt of his words.  
“ That depends, is your betrothed still a lying whore?” I asked, voice deathly sweet. His jaw dropped. He lunged towards me but I ducked under his blow, moved with lightning speed, grabbing a practice sword from the ground and popped up to hit him in the head. He staggered back a few feet, enraged. But Kaladin stepped in before he could try to hit me again. He suddenly held Oathbringer again, eyes blazing with anger.   
“ You think that it's a smart idea to hit one of my own in front of me?” He muttered, words laced with venom. I briefly wondered what he meant by that. Perhaps he was protective of his men, and I fell under that distinction. I snagged the knife I kept hidden in my boot for these purposes and stalked up to him. Kaladin, to his credit, didn't stop me. I pushed the sharp edge right under his ribs, exposed despite the armor he wore.   
“ I don't care how light your eyes are. Your blood is as red as mine. Try that again and you'll see it flowing.” I hissed. I hope the effect wasn't muted by the fact that I barely reached his chest. He nodded, but his eyes were on Kaladin, and I pulled back. He immediately disappeared into the field.   
“ Do you often threaten light eyed officers with no rebuke?” He asked roughly, anger dripping off his voice at my rash actions. His sword disappeared, and I saw Syl arrive with a huff.   
I shrugged. There was some lasting protection in my father's name and connection to the king. I wasn't sure how much longer I would get away with it, but it worked for now.   
“ You're very fast” He commented.  
“ I had grown up sparring with my father. He didn't let the fact that I was female stop him” I almost smiled, remembering the bickering he got into with my mother over it. She insisted it wasnt ladylike, and he insisted that he didn't give a damn. I had spent hours in the backyard with him, then hours watching him in arenas like this. Not that it saved him in the end.   
I snapped back into reality when I realized Kaladin was holding something out to me. The end of a practice sword. I took it, ignoring the looks it drew from those around me. There may be radiant females, but it still wasn't common practice for women to fight, especially commoners like me. I fell into the sparring stance instinctively. Kalading grinned and picked up a fake sword of his own.   
“ When is the last time you-” He started, but I cut him off with a quick tap to his thigh.   
“ Less talking, more sparring” I said. He gripped both hands on the sword, and off we went. 

Less than half an hour later, soaked in sweat, I collapsed in defeat.   
“ You're good” He said, handing me water. I didn't bother answering, gulping down what I could. I was very out of practice, but felt infinitely calmer than before, the exchange with the soldier had keyed up my adrenaline, but it was now gone. I had a feeling he knew I needed the release, and offered to spar for that very reason.   
I finally nodded in acknowledgment of his complement, getting to my feet.  
“ You're going to be late for your meeting if you don't shower now. Unless you would like to arrive like that” I said, nodding to his sweat-soaked shirt. He cursed.  
“ Alright. But, if you ever want to spar I know a few good people who would be happy to lend a hand, scandalous as it may be.” He said sincerely, eyes darting to the people who still stared at the Radiant and the messenger girl. I wondered if he included himself among that list. I gave him my thanks. He walked me back to the entrance of the arena, as if he was worried some other soldier would appear with insults, but thankfully none did. 

We parted ways, and I went off in search of some dinner. Running around all day left me with an insatiable appetite, which I suppose was to be expected. I briefly thought about the old days, where me in trousers and just a glove on my safehand in public would have caused my mother to go into fits. But she wasn't around to see that anymore, so I suppose it didn't matter. I zipped through the crowds at the market, stopping at my favorite vendor. I exchanged a sphere for a sandwich, barely breaking my step as he handed it to me, already knowing my order. I trudged along, boots secure on the dirt road floor. The night had started to fall, the market switching slowly from selling goods to selling food, bars opening up in front of me. I wandered, eyeing the wares with veiled interest. I didn't have much money for fancy dresses or jewelry, but I still appreciated looking at them. The few fancy dresses I still had, mended and refitted to my older body, sat unused in my room. There wasn't much need for them in a war camp, unless you were a Light Eyes, and even then. I wandered until the market began to thin, stopping to pick up some leather ties for my hair, as I kept losing them. I wandered a bit more before I started heading back to the Oathgate. I didn't, I told myself, subconsciously slow my pace to a crawl, practically ensuring that I missed the last shift and would have to seek out Kaldin for a way back. Or camp out overnight, which I have done before. The camp did maintain a presence here, but it was mainly soldiers and sentries.   
When I peered over the plains and saw the flash of light of the oathgate, I almost smiled. I turned on my heels and headed back to the main camp. I weaved in and out of the tents which practiced ease, showing up at his door. I took a deep breath and rapped on the tent. If he wasn't here, I would go find the soldiers and stay with them for the night. No big deal. But I heard a rustle of papers, and someone call for me to enter.   
I slipped into the tent, not at all surprised to see Kaladin seated at the table, yet again pouring over maps. This man worked too much.   
“ Couldn't stay away?” He said, and his almost flirtatious tone caught me off guard. It seemed to catch him off guard too, because he blushed slightly.   
“ More like I couldn't catch the oathgate. Want me to read?” I asked, nodding to the large book next to him that must have been left open by a scribe. He glanced at it and nodded. I sat next to him, and began. His eyes were back to brown, which made me feel more settled about being here alone with him. I was tempted to ask how the meeting went, but based off of his furrowed brow it didn't go well, and I didnt want to pry.   
So we fell into a routine. I would run messages all day, pretend to miss the oathgate at night, read to him, and return with him. We spoke about spren and the sky and what it was like to fly, wield a Radiant sword, how many bones the human hand had and how to prevent infection. We spoke about anything, really. A couple weeks passed that way, falling into an easy friendship. It was easy to forget that he was a lighteyes when his eyes were almost the color of mine most of the time. And when his eyes were blue, I avoided his gaze, pretending I didn't see the hurt in them when I did. I didn't think our time spent together, after hours and out of the public view, garnered much attention, until it did. 

It was a chilly day, the cold sneaking underneath my too-small jacket and making me shiver. I would need a new one soon. I had just arrived on the plain that Adolin, Kaladin, and Renarin stood at, practicing some military exercise or another. I bowed quickly. They waved it off.   
“ General Ashi requests a meeting with you, Kaladin. He wants to coordinate a mock-battle plan utilizing the squires abilities” I said to him. He nodded. I held a pen over the small paper I held, waiting for him to tell me a time.   
“ Say, in five days time?” He offered, and I nodded and jotted it down. Adolin had a slightly evil grin on his face.   
“ Jin, you are always ordering us around to meetings. Why not join us for a dinner party at the tower tomorrow night?” He said. I sighed inwardly. There was no way to say no without being rude, especially since other soldiers milled around. I nodded.  
He looked overly excited. Kaladin gave me a small smile that seemed to say ‘we'll survive this together’, which made the knot in my stomach ease slightly. I was out of practice attending parties, in any capacity, but I assumed the crowd would be familiar enough.   
My mind turned immediately to what I would wear. I knew Shallan would be in attendance, and perhaps other ladies, who would of course be dressed in the latest fashion that I couldn’t really afford. No matter, I would make something work.   
I said a quick goodbye and turned to leave.  
Adolin turned back to his task, distracted, but Kaladin stepped towards me. Syl appeared and said an excited hello, which I returned. Renarin looked at me in blank surprise.   
“ His Spren appears to you?” He asked. I nodded. I knew I wasn’t the only one, so I did not think it was the craziest notion.   
“She appeared to me a few times when we went back and forth through the Oathgate” I offered. Adolin turned away from his task.   
“ You mean those late night rendezvous that have all the sentries in a tizzy?” He asked, grinning widely.   
“ Am I not allowed to have friends now?” I shot back. He shrugged and out his hands up, a universal song of defeat. Kaladin shrugged and mouthed ‘later’. I assume discussing it would only stir the ever moving rumor mill, so I left. 

Later that night, when camp was again empty, I found my way to the tent. Kaladin sat there as always, this time a cup of wine in his hand. He motioned me to join him.   
I sat but didn’t drink. His eyes were still glassy blue from earlier today, hair tied back in a messy knot.   
“ I didn’t know they were discussing it. I’ll make sure it stops if it makes you uncomfortable.” He said quietly. Make sure it stops. I wonder how he planned to do that. I shrugged.   
“ I've had worse things said about me than that I spend time with a Radiant. I'll survive. The dinner party on the other hand…” I trailed off.   
“ I was trying to think of a way out of that too, short of being murdered” He said. I opened my mouth to suggest that could be arranged, but he shot me a weary look, so I shut it. He seemed more serious than usual.   
“ Everything okay? I mean, considering that we're in an apocalyptic war zone?” I asked, trying to lighten him up. He shrugged. Always the conversationalist. My eyes roamed over the desk, picking up a paper with what I realized, with a start, was a sketch of me. I was standing in the entrance of the tent, hair in a high pony, wearing my usual trousers and blouse, bag slung over my shoulder. I was standing next to Kaladin, eyes peering as I waited for him to dictate a message. I also had an intense look in my eyes, as if I was on a mission and dared someone to get in the way of it. I looked foolishly small next to him, and I wondered if Shallans proportions were off. But considering the incredibly accurate rendering, I doubted it.   
“ She’s good, isn't she” Kaladin said, looking over at the drawing from across the table.   
“ That's an understatement. Except I'm not that short” I said. He fought a smile, fake-nodding in agreement with me. I sat up, indignant.  
“ I’m not. I just came up to your chest in this picture.” I insisted. He sighed loudly and stood up, motioning for me to do the same. I did, then mumbled a curse. It was exactly accurate. I suppose I hadn't noticed it before. Kaladin looked extremely pleased with himself. At least he seemed to have cheered up slightly, even if it was at my expense. We sat for another hour, and I chose a random chapter of Way of Kings to read to him, as that seemed to be his favorite book. After the time passed, and a glass or five of wine, he seemed to have relaxed slightly. Perhaps, too much. I realized it when he declared that he hasn't drank in so long and he doesn't know why he would deny himself this pleasure. I tried not to laugh at how pink his cheeks had gotten and offered him some bread. He accepted it excitedly.   
“ Do you suppose you will be able to use the Oathgate to get back?” I wondered out loud. He seemed to get serious again.  
“ I have a better idea. We should fly. Flying is incredible” He said sincerely. I couldn't help but laugh at his little-boy antics.   
“ We can always just camp out here. Or wait until you sober up” I offered. He didn't seem pleased at the thought. I leaned back and went back to reading, this time not bothering to read out loud as I didnt think he was paying much attention.   
“ Why did you stop? I like when you read to me.” He said. I looked up at him, his face an open book of sincerity. I suppose he likes when any girl reads to him. He was still staring at me, waiting. I continued from where I had left off. He listened intently. For about thirty seconds.  
“ She did the eyes so well. That's exactly how you look. So determined” He rambled, now looking back at the picture Shallan had drawn. I gave up on reading. He was staring at me again, and the air seemed to grow thicker. I looked away, finding a fascinating piece of dirt under my nail to fiddle with.   
“ You hate looking me in the eyes when they look like this.” He murmured, waving to his still blue eyes. I didn't answer. I could hear how much it bothered him in his voice, so I looked up. They were already starting to darken, perhaps because he hadn't wielded Syl in awhile.   
“ I'm not a light eyes” He said firmly. I nodded. I knew he wasn't. But sometimes it was hard to forget, when his eyes blazed as blue as them and he wore the same uniform, the purposely-open blue crisp jacket. The jacket, embolized with a bridge four badge, was now slung over the back of his chair. His shirt sleeves were rolled up, showing off the tanned, strong arms of someone who worked for their strength on the battlefield, not in the arena.   
His eyes followed mine down to his hands, and he raised a brow. I looked away. I felt like I was playing a game of cat and mouse with him, but I wasn't quite sure what the end goal was. “ Thank you. I know the wine is making it easier for me to say this, but thank you for the past few weeks. You make me feel almost like a normal person and not a radiant” He mumbled, tripping over his words.   
“ I..I.You're welcome” I said. He stood suddenly and turned to go to what I assumed was the bathroom, but hit his food against the table. He cursed and the spheres on the table that I read by went out as he sucked in the stormlight. Suddenly, his eyes were no longer glassy and he seemed to be on stable feet.  
“ Did your stormlight just heal your drunkenness?” I asked. He seemed slightly embarrassed, perhaps recounting the words he said moments ago, and nodded.   
“ That's useful,” I said. He went off to the bathroom and returned, ridiculously quite compared to moments ago. He was looking at that picture again.  
“ Sorry if I made you uncomfortable..but I meant what I said.”   
“ You didn't. Don't worry.” I said, suddenly feeling awkward, even after all the time we spent together. I asked him if he ever thought about using this power to beat bridge four at drinking contests, and the tension broke as I launched into the possibilities.   
We strolled back to the Oathgate, pace slower than usual. We were both lost in thought, but if I had to guess it was about the same things. I kept reminding myself that he was a Radiant, a practically Light-Eyed radiant, and I was an ex-wealthy messenger girl who he had no business even spending time with. It didn't help my heart that suddenly seemed to race at how close we were walking. I cursed my treacherous brain. We were fine this afternoon. And now, with a few words, I felt like the air had shifted between us, and I wasn't sure it was ever going back. 

We reached the platform but he stopped me before we stepped onto it, grabbing my hand to get my attention. I looked up at him, waiting. Small pieces of his hair snuck out of his tie, making me want to reach up and tug on them. So I did. He gave me a small smile. He looked up at the sky, sighed, and mumbled “ Dear Odin, I hope I'm right about this”   
Before I could ask him what he meant by that, he was kissing me. He kissed in the same way I had seen him fight,with brutal passion and breathtaking skill. I was so caught up I didn't realize Syl was zipping around us until she clapped loudly in my ear.  
I pulled back from him, slightly dazed and already missing the feeling of his lips against mine. He didn't pull away completely, leaving his hands against my face. I could feel his calloused fingers as they gently swept along my cheeks, as if testing unfamiliar waters.   
“ Finally! He’s been wanting to do that for ages” Syl squealed, still zipping in circles. He sighed loudly, moment effectively gone, and leaned his forehead down to touch mine.  
“ Sorry” He whispered. I just looked at him blankly. He started to look concerned, stepping away from me slightly.   
I stepped with him, standing on the very tips of my toes to try to reach him for another kiss, but I was too far off. He seemed to sigh in relief as he helped me out. I tried to remember that we had a Spren as an audience, but I was far too interested in other things. It had been a long while since I had been kissed, and they never compared to this.   
I pulled back when Syl’s words registered.  
“ Weeks?” I asked him. Embarrassment spren fluttered in the air above his head. I feel giddy. He liked me too. As complicated and impossible as it was, he liked me too.   
“ I didn't want to ruin our friendship. And the whole partial Light-Eyes thing and being in a war zone...it was complicated.” He rambled. Understandably. It still was complicated. Veriti this was. We stood in silence for a moment, perhaps both realizing that he had no idea where to go from here.   
“ Can we keep this between us? Word travels fast here and adding more rumors to my repertoire wont help me much” I asked. He nodded, but I could sense a slight thread of disappointment.   
“ Upset you can't show me off?” I teased, back on familiar ground.   
“ Oh definitely. But also, upset that that is a consideration. It shouldn't have to be” He said quietly. I had long given up on expecting the world to be anything but harsh, and I was pretty sure he had too. But perhaps we could have this, this thing that was far from cruel or mean, a little bubble of peace.   
He finally tugged me onto the Oathgate after one more kiss, transporting us into the silent chill on top the mountain. We grinned foolishly at each other before we schooled our features to walk back to the tower. I feld sixteen again, buoyed by that feeling in my chest, so good it almost hurt. I should have realized then, that it was too good to be true.

_____________________________


	4. The Dinner Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing this good could ever last. Can it?

The next morning had me running messages in the increasingly chilly weather, arriving at Adolin’s tent with my breath coming out in foggy clouds. I rapped sharply, then entered. Adolin and Kaladin sat at the table, with Shallan pacing the tent. I gave a small nod to Kaladin, poker face firmly in place. I had repaid last night over and over, my mind refusing to believe that it had actually happened.   
“ What are you wearing to the dinner party tonight?” I can't decide.” She asked me. I shrugged. Her current dress, a pale pink silk, was fancier than anything I had in my closet.   
“ Oh I have just the thing for you! It's so pretty but it doesn't fit me anymore. Adolin feeds me too well.” She joked. Adolin looked vaguely confused, but didnt say anything. I debated turning her down, but I wouldn't mind dressing up and feeling like my old self, for once.   
“ I would love to help you out then.” I smiled at her.  
“ Perfect. You can come to my chambers beforehand and we can dress and go together” She said decisively. I avoided looking at the side of the tent Kaladin sat in, worried I would give us away with a lingering glance. I remembered why I was there in the first place with a start.

“Adolin, your father requests you on the plains.” I told him. He nodded and stood, not seeming to argue as much as he usually did. I suppose the battlefield was preferable to a meeting room. He said a quick goodbye to Shallan and I, the latter of which decided to accompany him to practice her lightweaving on a bigger canvas. Kaladin waited until a few seconds passed and he was sure they were out of earshot.   
“ So I'm assuming you made it back alright? Why do they put you all in such a far corner of the tower?” He asked.   
“ Because we're somewhat essential for the war effort, so they think it's more secure. At least, that's what they told us when we complained.” I said, walking over to where he sat, Syl perched on the edge of the table near him. He took my hand when I was close enough and pressed a lightning-fast kiss against it, so fast that I almost didn't register it.  
“ You're such a sap,” I teased. Syl nodded in agreement, mini curls bouncing around her face. He shrugged, but did not deny it.   
“ Well I have to run. But I'll see you tonight” I said. He frowned, like he had just remembered.  
“ Adolin invited a few other people from the court. It will be pretty busy” He said, distaste clear on his tone.  
“ I have a nice dress now so i'll survive Veriti it is.” I declared. Syl agreed loudly with me. Did she even have dresses?. Kaladin looked at me with a raised brow. Syl and I exchanged a look. Men.  
“ Having the proper attire for an event is like..you going into a battle with a shardplate and Oathbringer. If you're prepared, you feel safer, more secure in your position.” I tried to explain. I wasn't quite sure that he got it, but he didnt object.   
“ When can we spar again?” He asked, a smile playing on his lips. I thought about it.  
“ Maybe tomorrow night? Once everyone leaves?” I asked. He nodded in agreement and I left. These messages would not deliver themselves while I stood and ogled him like a teenager. The day passed in a rush, and before I knew it it was nightfall. I decided against missing the gate tonight, as I knew I would need some time to get ready. I made the trek to my makeshift dormitory, where I showered quickly and headed to Shallans room. Her rooms were much more centrally located, as expected, and when I knocked on the door I was not too surprised that a maid answered and led me into an enormous room. While it still had the cold castle feel, it was adorned with rugs and pillows and a massive bed. Lucky.   
She gave me a smile and stood from where she sat at her vanity, reading a dense looking book. Her hair was already done, the top braided up and the rest flowing down her back in waves. Mine was just straight, and I tucked a piece behind my ears.   
“ Hello, let's get you in that dress. You're going to love it” She said excitedly. She wore a deep green dress that looked incredible against her pale skin and red hair. I followed her to a massive closet, surprised at the array of clothing I saw. She had, in addition to many dresses, trousers, flowing trench coats, hats, some gloves strewn about. Not unlike what I wore everyday. She pulled a deep blue dress from her closet, its neckline square and bordering on immodest, the waist cinched tight with corset strings in the back. The sleeve, of course, buttoned neatly over the safehad with the same fabric added for decoration. It was beautiful and simple, and I couldn't believe she would let me borrow it. I hurried ducked behind a privacy screen she had and tugged off my clothing, sliding the dress on carefully. I stepped back out and the maid hovering on the sidelines helped tie me up in the back, squeezing my waist so tightly into the dress I wasn't sure I would ever get it off. But it achieved the desired effect. I turned to the mirror, marveling at how well it was made.  
“ It's lovely on you. I’m so happy it's being put to good use.” Shallan said, helping me button my safehand into the sleeve. I was so used to gloves that the feeling felt foreign. She eyed the silver pendant on display on my chest.  
“ That's a beautiful necklace” She commented. I touched it absentmindedly and thanked her, eyes still gazing into the mirror.  
Shallan picked up a small diamond hair clip from her vanity and used it to tuck those errant pieces of hair behind my ear. I opened my mouth to object but she shushed me and offered some rouge. I accepted. I felt like my old self, dressing up and playing adult, except this time I was an adult, and this wasn't really my life. I felt a small pang of sadness, then thought about how Kaladin would react. He never saw me in a dress. The thought made me grin.   
“ What has you all giddy?” Shallan asked, peering over into the mirror to touch up her own makeup.   
“ I really like this dress. Thank you” I said sincerely. She waved me off, slipping on silk shoes that matched her dress. Shoot. I looked back to my boots sitting in the corner, realizing my mistake. Her eyes followed mine and she quickly produced the matching pair to my dress, and I sighed in relief. They were slightly too big, but they were doable.   
“ Lets go. Adolin will be very upset if he can't show off his betrothed.” She said, rolling her eyes. I nodded and she slipped her arm into my elbow, and we were off. She led me through corridors that I didn't know existed to a dining hall. I suppose it made sense that the Light Eyes lived in this part of the tower. We had little need for such things. The room was furnished with a large table, and waiters scurried around with trays of drinks. Adolin did not do anything halfway.   
Adolin himself was chatting with a lighteyed office, and glanced over when he realized Shallan had entered. He walked over, the officer trailing behind him. We both gave slight bows, accepting the drink that was offered to us by the waiter who appeared at Adolins elbow. Guess there were perks to being betrothed to the son of an almost-king.   
This is Shallan, and her lovely friend Jin.” He introduced me, the office gave me a small smile but seemed to dismiss me out of hand. Oh well. He wasn't who I came here for anyway. I scanned the busy room, but there was no sign of him.   
“ Looking for someone?” Adolin asked, following my gaze. I shook my head. Nice giveaway. I realized that I was not the only non-Light Eyes in the room. There were some generals, a few ladies who weren't in the court but close enough to it that they scored an invite. It calmed me down slightly. Adolins looked over my shoulder and smiled at someone.  
“ I was worried you would find some excuse to not come.” He said. I resisted the urge to whip my head around. Kaladin finally came into view, wearing what must be some version of a dress uniform, a vibrant blue jacket buttoned up with fitted trousers. His car was tied back, with slightly more thought put into it than usual. And his eyes blazed blue. He looked incredible. Those eyes were now scanning me up and down, a small smile sneaking past the poker face he wore. I suppose we sort of matched. I gave him a small bow too, and he looked slightly offended.   
He crossed his arms and surveyed the room shifting into what I teased him was his “I'm looking for a fight and I will find one” stance. Adolin seemed to pick up on it too.  
“ No working tonight. No bodyguard, security concerns blah blah stuff. This is a night to relax” He chastised him.   
“ Relaxing is that thing you do when you aren't-” I supplied helpfully, and he cut me off with an almost glare. Shallan laughed. She took Adolins elbow as he led her away to socialize and gave me a small wave.   
“ I think I need a drink.” He said, eyes scanning the room once again.  
“ Oh, have some more confessions you would like to make to me?” I teased. He waved off the embarrassment spren that popped up around him.   
“ That was one time.” He said. He stopped a passing waiter and took a glass from him. I realized we hovered awkwardly by the entrance, so I carefully lifted the hem of my skirt- Shallan was slightly taller than me- and walked further into the room, Kaladin at my side. I don't suppose our little semi-relationship would stay quiet after this. We already drew a few curious glances.   
“ You look lovely, by the way.” He said. I glanced down at the dress. It was lovely. It made me sad to think that it wasn't even mine.  
“ Shallan has excellent taste. It's quite a change from the usual trousers” I said, and he nodded in agreement.   
“ For the record, I think both are nice” He whispered, wary of a young laughing couple that edged close enough to hear us. I suppose he had to say that. I enjoyed the freedom of trousers, but they never made me feel the way a beautiful dress did.   
The waiters began to usher people to their seats, and a sudden thread of panic slipped through me. Shallan would be sitting at the head near Adolin, and I'm sure Kaladin would be there too. Where would I go?  
Adolin solved my problem by calling us, both of us, over to the front of the table. He seemed to have a sixth sense for peoples nerves. I could tell my presence at the front drew some interested eyes form the Light eyed, but no one dared comment. I sat down carefully, mindful of the dress and its delicate silk, resting my safehand in my lap. Waiters began to serve large plates with varied foods, one for the women and one for the men. Most dinner parties didn't even allow mixed seatings, so I was surprised he got away with it. But I suppose he was Adolin Kholinar, and he could get away with pretty much anything. I sat up straight and tried to remember my manners, eating slowly and savoring the food. Conversation bubbled around us, but I was content to listen for now. This was a prime location to hear court gossip.   
“ I don't understand how these people talk to each other all day everyday and dont grow bored.” kaladin mumbled under his breath. I was in the middle of listening to a fascinating story about a girl who was caught in a scandalous position with her sisters betrothed, so I almost didn't hear him.   
“ There are always new things to talk about. New scandals, more gossip. That sort of thing.” I explained. It was the court I had grown up in then become so estranged from. I had known some of these people when I was younger, but they all seemed to foreign to me now.   
He didn't seem too impressed. Understandable, for a warrior.   
“ What are you doing after this?” He asked. I shrugged. Wasn't much to do at nights here that didn't involve a little impropriety.   
“ Good.” He said firmly, then did not elaborate. I thought about pestering him, but I was pretty sure that he was too stubborn to give in. My mind raced with the possibilities, but I forced myself to come back down to earth. I realized a light-eyed girl, one I had seen around, was trying to talk to me.  
“ Your necklace is lovely. Is it from Jeanette?” She asked. I wasn't surprised that she could tell, given how coveted and identifiable his work was. I nodded and her eyes lit up.   
“ How did you get it? Was it a gift?” She asked. He had stopped working in his old age, making the pieces that were around triple in value. They resold for incredibly high prices, and if I wasn't so attached to it I might have considered selling it.   
“ Yes, my father got it for me ten years ago. I was too young to even wear such finery at the time, but he insisted” I said. She gave me a small pitiful smile, and the lack of further inquiry made me think that word about who I was had traveled beyond the old court in Alethkar. Her eyes then shifted to Kaladin, a flirty smile suddenly on her face.   
“ Nice to have dinner in the company of someone who does so much for our safety.” She coed, voice shifting obnoxiously high. Gross. Kaladin seemed wholly at a loss for what to do, which was pretty entertaining. He settled on a slight nod, going back to his plate with renewed interest. The girl didn't seem to know how to respond to his rejection, but ended up turning to the officer near her and settling on her new prey.   
The plates began to be cleared, replaced with small bowls of dessert. I devoured mine, some sweet concoction of lemon and sugar and a crumbly cake. I never let myself be lured by the baked goods in the market, knowing I would spend all my meager wage there easily. I was a sucker for dessert. Kaladin seemed to notice this, and switched my empty bowl for his untouched one when no one was looking. I gave him a grateful smile. The gown felt uncomfortably tight, and I suddenly wished the maid hadn't been so aggressive with her tying.   
The evening began to wind down without any further flirting incidences, and I was eager to see what Kaladin had planned. I walked over to Adolin, as everyone had stepped away from the table and now lingered, sipping wine and tea.   
“ Thank you for tonight, it was lovely.” I said.   
“ Of course it was. No one believes me when I say we should have them more often.” He responded cheekily. Shallan, who stood nearby, rolled her eyes.   
“ I'll bring this back to you tomorrow” I said to her, motioning to the dress.  
“ Please keep it. It looks better on you.” She insisted. I thanked her. I realized after tonight I would have little occasion to wear it, but I suppose if I hung around them long enough I would find one. Kaladin said his farewells and left, giving me a meaningful glance before slipping out the door. I stayed for a few moments longer, speaking with Shallan about the book I had seen her reading earlier. I decided enough time had passed to ease suspicions, and said my farewells.   
I walked into the hallway and turned left, just as he had told me to do earlier, and there he waited. The tower was so full of turns and tunnels I wasn't surprised that he had found yet another one. His teeth flashed white in the dark, and he pulled out a sphere to guide the way.  
“ Come one.” He said, taking my freehand with excitement. We walked for some time, passing little tunnels and rooms that he did not slow down for. We reached a small winding staircase and began to climb it. I again cursed my corset. We finally made it to the top of what appeared to be one of the tower's sentry outposts, the chilly night air hitting me as we stepped outside. I looked at him with a question in my eyes. I had just noticed, stepping into the moonlight, that he now had a small pouch attached to his belt.   
“ Well you asked me the other night, what it was like to fly. So I'm going to show you.” he said with a wicked grin. He opened the pouch and flashed massive uncut stone, glimmering with stormlight.   
“ What if you drop me? I'll die.” I said slowly, hoping I could get him to see some reason. He laughed.  
“ I'm a Windrunner. I've flown people for miles. You will not die.” He said.   
“ Come on, Ill even hold your hand if you're scared.” He teased, reaching for me. I let him take it, heart racing in my chest at the thought of hovering in the open air, supported only by the light he had in a stone. A large stone, but still. He seemed to realize that if he didn't distract me, I was probably going to make a run for it. He began to pull me up until we hovered a few feet above the stone. I could feel the wind pushing this way and that, supporting my feet on an invisible platform of wind. I gasped.  
“ See, it isn't so bad.” Kaladin said. I wasn't too sure. The bizarre feeling of hovering on nothing made my stomach turn, and I told him as much. He thought for a second, then let go of my hand, which caused me to shriek so loudly I wouldn't be surprised if they heard me at the bottom of the tower. I still hovered in place, ignoring Kaladin's raucous laughter. He swept me up in his arms, damsel in distress style, and the feeling in my stomach settled at the secure feeling of his arms around me.   
“ Better?” He asked. I nodded emphatically. He rose up a few feet, and I couldn't help but squeeze my arms around his neck and hide my face. I was not afraid of many things, but this felt absolutely unlike anything I had experienced ever before.   
“ You know, half the fun is looking. As nice at it is to have you so close to me.” He murmured, inches away from my ear. I realized that I was being entirely too improper, and loosened my hands a bit. I slowly opened my eyes, trying to breathe through the panic that rose. We were now far over the tower, and could see everything. The grassy meadow blow, the camps, the small speck that was the oathgate in the distance. The sky stretched above me, stars feeling incredibly close and far at the same time, windspren zipping around my hair. It was incredible.  
Kaladin saw my expression and looked far too pleased with himself. I flicked his ear. Awespren sprung up around my head, zipping in excited circles.   
“ Incredible, isn't it?” He asked quietly, the wind almost pulling away his words. I nodded, looking up at him. He barely seemed to exert any effort, face more relaxed than i'd ever seen. THis was his place, his home. He seemed to feel my eyes on him, because he looked down. And then he kissed me, hovering above the tower, night holding us together. It was the closest thing to magic I had ever felt.   
We stayed there as long as we dared, stormlight slipping away. We parted slowly that night, unwilling to give up the beauty of it, the closeness. It was too good, too pure. 

The next day, a battle broke out.


	5. The Change(s) in Destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Depictions of battle that may be graphic.
> 
> The battle is not the end for either of them, but the start.

I scurried into the generals tent, face covered in the slight layer of dust that seemed unavoidable out here.  
Dalinar, Adolin, and Kaladin here deep in conversation. Adolin wore his shardplate, and Kaladin wore armor. They both looked more serious than I had ever seen them. This should have been routine, but from what I heard there were more Parshendi that expected.  
“ Scouts said they see another few hundred approaching from the east. General Veriti recommends..” I launched into the battle plan, each word memorized as soon as it was told to me. Having a good memory is what made me one of the more coveted scouts. Dalinar nodded as I spoke and told me to tell him to go ahead. I left the tent in a rush, barely glancing back at Kaladin. He would be fine, I reminded myself. He was made for battle.  
I rushed across the field, darting around soldiers and the few skirmishes that broke out so far in our territory. One seemed to be clustered around the generals tent. I should be afraid, I suppose, but the adrenaline pounding through my system made that impossible. The general, wielding his Shardblade, seemed utterly invincible. That is, until a smart Parshendi bowman realized that with a single arrow to the leg, the fight would be over. The general dropped to the ground. The parshendi fighting him disappeared, perhaps to tell his leader. I ran to the generals side, a few lingering fights distracting the soldiers around me, desperately trying to fend them off. I slammed onto my knees next to him. Blood, there was so much blood. The sound around me seemed to fade, all else canceled out by the fact that he was dying. I knew it, watching the blood gush out from where he was struck. They must have hit a major blood vessel, one of those pesky things Kaladin told me about. Apply pressure, he said, and don't remove the object, Veriti you do. I watched as the general, disbelief flashing in his eye, reached for it. His blade lay between us, cool metal pressing into my leg. I could practically hear his pulse slowing, his violet eyes wild. His hand gripped the arrow. I watched as he ripped it free. The blood came much faster now, and the frenzied look on his face cleared as he lay back. He looked almost peaceful. The battle raged around me as his dust and blood covered hands fell to the side, almost within reach of his blade. Then his eyes rolled up, looking at the sky for the last time. My hands shook, so badly it almost hurt, as I reached for that cool metal, finding a solid grip on the hilt. Then I exploded. It was surprisingly light considering its size, but the perfect balance made it all that much easier to wield. I ran a few paces and stabbed one of the Parshendi fighting with a soldier, watching in fascination as his face crumpled and he dropped. The soldier looked at me in shock. I ignored him, turning to the next one, slicing his arm off and effectively ending his life. My father would be so proud if he knew what his skills had brought about. With a sudden song, the Parshendi seemed to melt back, collecting their dead as they went. I still stood, in shock, blade in my hand, when I realized the battle had ended.  
There was an almost immediate uproar when they realized that the general was dead, and that I wielded his blade.  
Someone must have gotten Dalinar, because he and Adolin arrived. It still stood, fingers curled too tightly around it. It. The blade. My mind raced with the possibilities, but most importantly. I would be light eyes.  
“ How can she take his blade? It should go to one of his soldiers, not a girl.” I heard a man behind me tell Dalinar as soon as he was in hearing, his wild tone making it clear that the Thrill had not passed yet. No one spoke to Dalinar like that.  
“ SILENCE” He called, and silence was given. He walked up to me. I began to shake slightly. Adolin looked confused, impressed, and interested all at once.  
“ General Veriti has died, correct?” He asked me. I nodded, unable to speak.  
“ You were with him when it occurred. Correct?” He asked further. I nodded again.  
“ The blade is hers. She served him as much as you did. And it seems avenged him.” He said, looking at the blood stains around me. Then he looked me in the eye, and I almost dropped the blade at his fiery gaze.  
“ Come. We will explain everything you need to know” He said to me. Kaladin appeared, dropping down from the sky. He sized me up, the blade in my hand, the general's body and the arrow next to it, trying to piece it all together.What on earth had just happened?

I was led to a grand tent and sat in a chair, the blade lay heavily against my lap. The weight of a human life, gone. Adolin handed me a cup of something, but I couldn't touch it.  
“ Do you understand how this works?” Dalinar said to me softly. I nodded. I had heard them talking about it, the process to bond with a Shardblade. How rare and important they were, how few people were lucky enough to have them. It seemed I was now added to that list.  
“ You will have to hold the blade, day and night, for the next few days, until you bond with it.” Dalinar said, in case I was too shocked to remember.  
“ After that, you will be able to summon it at will. And you will train with it. I know you have some background, but Shardblades are a different beast.” He said. I nodded again. I don't know if I would ever be able to talk. I still wasn't meeting his eyes.  
“ You did nothing wrong. Remember that.” He continued, clearly trying to break through to me.  
I took a small sip from the cup I realized I still held. It was wine, and a good one at that. I finally looked up, and Kaladin looked awfully concerned. He crossed the room and stared at me.  
“ Are you okay? Your eyes aren't focusing?” He asked carefully, as if I might explode. I tried to nod my head, but found that I couldn't move. The room felt far away, the very chair I sat on felt foreign. I heard his voice grew louder, but I could no longer hear anything at all.

When I woke I was lying in a large and awfully comfortable bed. My hand was curled around a cold object, and I jumped when I remembered what it was. I sat up with a start. The room I was in was unfamiliar, but the sparse furniture and tidy quarters made me think it belonged to a soldier. I heard voices from the next room, heatedly arguing. I got up, noticing that someone had changed me into a white nightdress and my feet were bare. I still felt grimy from yesterday, but someone had wiped my face, hands, and feet clean. I took the blade with me, noticing that someone had brought the sheath and placed it in the corner of the room. Smart. I felt like I had been sleeping for a week, my head cloudy. I walked into the main room, and all conversation stopped. Adolin, Kaladin and Shallan were there, all having changed clothing and looking much more rested. They looked at me in surprise.

“ Look who finally woke up. How are you feeling?” Shallan asked, getting up from her seat to fret.

“ I feel fine. Nothing like a day of sleep to recover from watching someone die and getting a shardblade.” I half-heartedly joked. Yes, it was the only coping mechanism I had. They all exchanged glances.

“You were sleeping for a week, Jin.” Kaladin said softly. A week? I put the sword down, and it disappeared with a pop. I eyed Kaladin. He looked worn-out, eyes a tired blue. He walked over to the table in the corner and picked up a small silver tray, then walked towards me. He lifted my chin so that I was forced to meet his eyes.

“ Jin. Look.” He said quietly. It seemed that the whole tent, the whole world, went silent, as he held up the tray. I looked. And looking back were a set of vibrant green eyes. My jaw dropped. I knew the rumours, I knew that it was possible, but seeing the proof was all the more mind-blowing.

“ They look lovely on you. Like they were there the whole time” Shallan offered, perhaps mistaking my silence for disapproval. They did look lovely, the bright green making my whole face seem more elegant, no longer dull. My heart raced with the possibilities. I was a Light Eyes now. I couldn't help but smile. I could feel Kaladin looking at me, but couldn't tear my eyes away from my reflection. “ You probably want a shower. I can send someone to help you” Shallan offered. I nodded. I felt absolutely disgusted. I looked around the room but saw no identifying factors.

“ My father felt it was best that you stay here for the time-being. Kaladin has been guarding your room for the past week.” Adolin said. I smiled at him. Always the hero. Shallan promptly called her maid and kicked out the men. I couldn't be more grateful. The maid heated the water, gently untangling my hair and combing it through, putting a heavenly smelling oil in it afterwards that made it shine. I couldn't bear the thought of putting the white nightgown back on, but had no clothing here. “ Shallan sent this.” She said, handing me a simple green dress. Green, to match my eyes. The maid then pinned back the front of my hair, putting some rouge on my probably-pale cheeks. I felt infinitely better afterwards. Shallan swept in as soon as she left.

“ Fair warning, you will be stared at. Word of what occured has spread through the camps, and everyone wants to see the proof.” She said. Hence the nice dress. I wonder what my dormitory mates would think of it. And if I still work as a messenger, if I even be able to recover the sword that disappeared into nowhere, and a million other things. Pattern stepped off Shallan's gold dress.

“ This is new,” He said to me. Shallan shooed him away. 

“ So when were you and Kaladin going to tell us that you were..involved?” she asked me casually. Whoops. I quickly debated playing dumb, but Shallans sharp eyes made me think that it would be a terrible idea.

“ I insisted we keep it quiet. Rumours, you know.” I explained. Her wicked grin made me realize that she had just been fishing, and I had let her catch me. Kaladin and Adolin chose that moment to return. Adolin made a questioning face at Shallan, and she nodded excitedly. I should have known he was involved in this. I avoided looking at a very confused Kaladin, playing with the edge of my safehand sleeve. 

“ Have you tried to summon the blade?” He asked me. I shook my head. I felt suddenly tired, and sat down on one of the cushioned chairs. I was also starving, and my stomach growled ridiculously loud, as if as soon as I had thought of it my body remembered too. Embarrassment spren sprung up. Kaladin took my elbow in an awfully polite way, but one that drew glances from the giggling couple in the corner, and led me to the table. 

“ I'll get you some food.” He said, and turned to leave the tent. Adolin interrupted him and told him he had already arranged for that, so instead he sat down near me. He watched me closely, as if waiting for my eyes to change back or the blade to appear or my head to explode. I couldn't decide which one was more likely. I was living out a story told to dark eyed children at night, a an old wives tale to encourage them to fight in wars that were not about them. The food arrived, and I paused further introspection to eat. I had just leaned abc after stuffing an impressive amount of food down. I felt ready to sleep for another week.

Then Dalinar arrived. I jumped up to bow, head spinning as soon as I did so. I stumbled back into my seat.

“ Please, Jin, rest. You went through an ordeal” He said. I almost nodded but my head still spun, so instead I mumbled a thank you. He was dressed, as always, in his uniform that was perfectly buttoned up, crisp and clean. 

“ I wanted you tell tell me exactly what happened. I know it may be hard, but In order to declare legitimate ownership and prevent anyone from attempting to object to your right an official report must be made” He said. I figured as much. 

He sat on a chair at the other side of the table, making it feel awfully formal. I took a breath to steady myself, then began. I noticed a scribe had slipped in behind him, and had a pen poised to the page, waiting for me to start. Very official, it seemed.

“ I had left your tent to give your orders to the general, but when I arrived he was fighting a Parshendi. An arrow came from somewhere and hit his leg. He fell, and I ran to his side. He pulled the arrow out and was bleeding so much. I knew it was too much to survive, and then he was gone and his blade was there. And I was angry. So I decided to be productive about it.” I said. The scribe hurried to keep up with my pace. I wanted to get it all out and never have to speak about it again. 

“ Did you try to stop him from removing the arrow?” Kaladin asked me. As I guessed that he would. My eyes welled in tears now, emotion breaking through the mask.

“ No, it happened so fast. I couldn't remember what to do, and then suddenly he was gone.” I cried, not bothering to keep the pain from my voice. His face softened and he reached out to touch my hand before remembering the company we had. Dalinar watched us closely. 

“ That should be sufficient. I suggest you move to a location in the tower closer to Shallan. I would like to have you trained as her bodyguard. You would be paid, of course” He declared. My eyes flew to him, and Kaladin's face was an equal mask of surprise.

“ Do I really need a bodyguard?” Shallan asked, her tone bordering on offended. 

“ It never hurts. And having a female means she would be under the radar of most threats. No one would know about this except for us four.” He said. I liked the idea. I would have purpose, an income, and a reason to spend time around the court. I had missed it, and the past few weeks were a painful reminder of my old life that I hadn't let myself miss until now. 

“ I would love that. Thank you.” I told him. He nodded and stood suddenly, scribe flicking her notes closed and following him out the door. He called Kaladin over and whispered a few short words in his ear. Kaladin seemed to grow serious. I wonder what that was about. Dalinar left and Kaladin returned to my side.

“ You don't have to. Just because Dalianar asked, you could still say no.” he told me, voice low. 

“ I want to. Are you trying to get out of training me?” I joked. He still looked concerned. I ignored him and strode over to a proper mirror in the corner. Green eyes still looked back at me. It was real, I kept telling myself. 

“ You should try summoning the blade,” Adolin suggested. I had almost forgotten about that part. 

“ How?” I asked. It seemed that the blade he wielded was more similar to mine than Kaladins or Shallans, as their Spren were more active, so he took the lead.

“ Focus on it, the feel of it in your hands. Steady your breath and count ten heartbeats.” He said. He moved closer to me, arms crossed in front of him. I tried to follow his instructions, but I just felt a small headache forming. 

“ What if it's like-“ I made a vague hand motion and Adolin lagged.

“ Shardblades don't disappear. It's bonded to you. You just have to focus” He said. I tried again. And again. And again. The headache built. But finally, after almost a half hour of trying, it worked. I couldn't help but gasp when it finally appeared. It seemed much heavier now that I didn thave the adrenaline to help me hold it up. I suppose that's where the training would come in handy. Awespren fluttered around my hands as I gazed at the blade. It was beautiful and ancient and thrumming with power. And it was mine. 

“ So once you can do that without thinking, you will be ready to start training.” Kaladin said. I was going to need a lot of headache tonic over the next few days. 

I let go of it and the sword disappeared into thin air. Wild.

I sat down on the sofa, exhausted. Shallan had the good sense to realize this and excused herself and Adolin. 

Kaladin approached me, slowly, and sat next to me. He seemed deep in contemplation. He took a nearby blanket and tossed it over me. I smiled at him.

“ What did Dalinar want?” I asked, curling deeper into the sofa

“ He suggested that we enter a causal betrothal” He said. I shot up. His face gave nothing away. 

“ Why..what made him say that?” I asked, trying to keep my tone light. 

“ He knows we've been courting. He thinks this is a good way to keep it legitimate. He said he would have suggested it even if you didn't..” He trailed off, hand waving slightly towards my face. Even if I didn't become a Light Eyes. The idea of being betrothed to a Radiant seemed impossible. He had yet to give a sign of if he wanted to. I wonder if he would feel obligated to because Dalinar suggested it. He didn't seem the type to make such a decision lightly, even at the word of one of the most powerful men in Alethkar. Perhaps he wasn't interested and was trying to figure out a way out of it. I suddenly felt ashamed, and couldn't help the Shamespren that sprung up. Even now, I wasn't good enough. He looked at me in confusion.

I tried to wave them off, attracting embarrassmentspren now. 

“ You don't have to say yes. I mean, If this isn't what you want.” He said quietly, dejected. I gaped at him. This conversation reminded me of when I had learnt to read, trying to decipher impossibilities and coming up with nothing. 

“ Of course I want to. I thought you didn't.” I blurted. His face looked painfully hopeful now.

“ I didn't know if you wanted this life. It won't be easy, and I fear the road ahead is only going to get harder. But I would be honoured to have you by my side for it.” He said, avoiding my gaze. I realized with a start that he was afraid I would say no. I placed my freehand on his cheek and tilted his face towards mine. 

“ Yes.” I said simply, his blue eyes gazing into mine. He smiled, wider than I've ever seen before, face lighting up with excitement. He pressed a kiss to my temple, quick and chaste, before the tent doors burst open. Unsurprisingly, Adolin and Shallan stood there with wide smiles. Pattern zipped around Shallans skirt, and I had the strong feeling that we had been spied on. 

“ I am so happy for you two. You are perfect for each other. Oh, this is lovely.” Shallan clapped, more exuberant than I had ever seen her.

“ We can start a support group for those betrothed to Radiants.” Adolin suggested cheekily, smiling at Shallan. I could feel their excitement, spren rising over their heads. I hadn't felt like I belonged since my father's death, but in that tent in a war zone, surrounded by spilled blood and archaic weapons, I felt at home. 

_______________________________

  
  
  



	6. The second Dinner Party and the First Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was bound to happen eventually.

“ Oh, Who sent this one?” Shallan asked, helping me unpack into my new room near hers in the tower. More like, her maid was helping me unpack while she rifled through the various gifts that had been streaming in the past fortnight from interested parties. Kaladin and I had decided to keep our betrothal a secret for now, letting me adjust to the looks before his name was tagged onto the whispers. So, not knowing that I was spoken for, men who hoped to impress me with finery and jewels in order to marry and ensure their son would carry a Shardblade had been flooding in. And flooding in. My room looked like a veritable jewelry store, and dresses upon dresses, all in the latest fashion, hung in my closet. How they got my measurements I would never know, but they all fit perfectly. I admired the one I wore now in a full length mirror, a pale pink dress with roses embroidered onto the skirts, and emerald earrings to match my eyes. I couldn't help it now, wearing green. It felt like a reminder of the blessing I had been granted. I practiced summoning the blade often, at Kaladin and Adolins behest. And to keep my eyes from turning back. I wasn't sure if they would, like Kaladin’s, but I didn't want to find out.  
I heard a sharp knock on my door. I looked at Shallan but she shrugged. The maid opened it and I could see a flash of black hair. Kaladin. He had been gone for a week, apologizing profusely for leaving me at such a time, but he had to. Shallans eyes lit up, as that meant her betrothed had returned too. She made some excuse and left the room.  
“ Come in” I called, sweeping towards him on satin slippers. He gave me a private smile. I gave him a formal curtsy and he laughed, sweeping me into a hug. I swatted his shoulder.  
“ Careful for my dress, Captain” I scolded, no heat in my voice. I got on the tip of my toes to kiss him, forcing him to help me make up the difference. He did. After that he stepped back and admired my dress. And looked around the room that was suddenly filled with finery.  
“ Where did all this come from?” He asked. I explained.  
“ Isn't it a bit deceptive to accept such gifts from men you never intend to court? While betrothed to another?” He said drily. I could feel his disapproval.  
“ Shallan said it would be rude to return them if I wasn't publicly betrothed. A breach of court etiquette. So I might as well enjoy” I shrugged. I stepped closer to him and kissed the edge of his jaw, my favorite and only spot I could easily reach on his face. All seemed forgotten as he grinned down at me.  
“ We're having a dinner party tonight. To celebrate you and Adolin’s safe return” I told him. His face fell.  
“ I wanted to spend time with you. See how you were faring with all of this.” He mumbled, hand coming up to credible my cheek.  
“ Afterwards? You can't very well skip your own return party. And I have the most lovely dress picked out.” I pleaded. I knew I sounded like an insolent child, but he must not have minded too much. He agreed. I gave him another hug, throwing all concern about the dress out the window.  
Then I stepped back and curtsied.  
“ Thank you, Captain” I said, and he rolled his eyes.  
“ We start training tomorrow. So no staying out too late” He cautioned.  
“ If i'm losing sleep, Captain, surely it would be your fault” I said, turning towards my dresser before I realized the implication of my words and turning bright red, embarrasmentspren fluttering around me. I whirled back.  
“ I meant because you would keep me up later, while we spoke, not anything untoward..” I trailed off at his bemused expression. He clearly enjoyed my discomfort. I tossed a trinket from my desk at him in a huff, but he caught it easily. He looked down at the small leather pouch in his hands, detailed with my initials.  
“ These are the gifts you have been receiving? Should I be getting you some of these?” He asked. I laughed.  
“ That, My dear, was simply holding a gift. A lovely emerald ring. It came with some terrible poem about my new eyes” I laughed, ruffling around my nightstand and reading it to him. He laughed at the atrocity.  
“ Whoever wrote that for him should be fired” He said, but his tone seemed slightly layered. Concerned. I could practically see him fleeing to Shallans room to ask about what courting gifts to purchase for me. I didn't mind. I knew she would give him flawless advice.  
“ You probably want to relax and bathe after your trip. And get ready for tonight” I said. He sighed. I had missed him, missed talking to him and even his brooding.  
He excused himself to get ready and I continued unpacking, the maid attempting to take over every so often and convince me to sit. It was the strangest thing, the way she looked at me, looked away. The same way I did a few weeks ago. It felt like a lifetime had passed since then. When things were adequately settled I asked her to run a bath, making use of the genius heating fabrials that Navani had invented. Afterwards the maid twisted and turned my hair into an updo, adding little gold pins that glimmered when I turned my head. She also applied rouge and lipstain. She was particularly good at it, and I wondered if I could convince Shallan to give her up. With my new salary as her personal guard I could easily afford it, even though I would still keep up the guise of messenger by running errands occasionally, albeit in court and not on the battlefield.  
I dressed in the exquisite rose gold gown I had chosen for tonight, adding an emerald necklace and putting back on the earrings I wore earlier. I admired the effect in the mirror, waist cinched so tight I doubt I would have room for any dessert, let alone two servings. But I suppose that was the tradeoff.  
I waited impatiently in my seat, watching the sun slip down through the window, and finally I heard three quick knocks. The maid opened the door, and Kaladin seemed slightly taken aback by it. His eyes quickly found me, and I stood with all the grace I could muster.  
“ You look lovely” He said, eyes roaming appreciatively over the gown, lingering on the exposed skin at my neck. I smiled and slipped my freehand into the crook of his elbow.  
“ Shall we?” I said, and we were off.  
Returning to my old style of life It felt like stepping into a familiar dance routine, knowing all the steps and where to put them, but being a beat or two off. Laughing too loudly, joling too crassly. I suppose it would come back to me over time. I would have to spend more time readjusting to the nuances of court, but I didn't mind. Kaladin didn't seem to notice these missteps, or perhaps didn't care.  
Dinner progressed as usual, the mood slightly louder as court celebrated the return of its favorite son. Shallan positively beamed at his side. I sat at Kaladins, my presence more addressed than the last time I was in the room. I was no longer the dark eyes who had somehow scored an invite, but I belonged. It made me sit a little straighter in my chair. Kaladin was quiet, perhaps exhausted from his trip, but he still rolled his eyes when someone said something particularly stupid.  
When he left my side for a moment to speak to a member of bridge four that had been conscripted for guard duty that night, the suitor who had sent that awful poem made a swift approach. He quickly filled Kaladin's empty seat. Shallan caught my eye from across the table and raised a brow.  
“ I see you are wearing that ring I sent for you. It looks lovelier on you than I could have imagined” He crooned. I gave him a fake but brilliant smile.  
“ I truly appreciate it. Thank you” I said.  
“ I hope you would make some time for me to escort you to a match later this week.” He asked. Ugh. I hadn't thought this through. Fortunately, Kaladin had impeccable timing and showed up at his seat to reclaim it. Kaladin may not be the only Radiant around, but he was one of the most intimidating, and he went scampering away without waiting for a response.  
“ Thank you. I wasn't sure how to get rid of him without offending” I murmured.  
“ Perhaps not accepting gifts from them would help. I think we should announce our betrothal soon, to save you the struggle.” He said, his voice laced with a territorial tone. I suppose we could. Even if that meant no more gifts. I nodded at him and he looked pleased.  
After dessert, which I turned down, much to Kaladin's surprise, we went for a stroll around the tower. I caught him up on what he had missed, mainly me practicing summoning the blade and hanging out with Shallan. She had sketched out my blade to add to her collection. I talked and talked until he deemed it late and dropped me off at my new rooms. He peered down the hallway to make sure no one was around before giving me a kiss that sent my cheeks burning and sending me off to bed.  
I wrestled myself out of my gown, as Shallans maid had gone for the night, and slipped into a deep, content sleep. 

_____________________

“ Again” Kaladin barked. I sighed. As it turns out, being betrothed to him did not mean he would go easy on me during practice.  
At the sun's first light he woke me up and gave me a few minutes to throw on leggings and a tunic, a glove shoved onto my safehand, before dragging me to the arena. He first made me run laps with the blade balanced on alternating shoulders, then hold basic fighting stances until the weight of the blade made my arms quiver and fall. We were still doing those, and apparently I wasn't doing them well enough. Sweat dripped down my back and stuck my hair to my face, framing what I'm sure was a glower. He didn't seem phased.  
The arena had slowly filled with people as we trained, and we drew some curious glances that were quickly shifted when Kaladin fixed them with a glare.  
He finally let me break for water, and I hated how I could barely lift the jug to my mouth. He looked awfully collected, hair tied back into a perfect pony and clothing impeccable.  
“ We will be doing this every day until your strength builds enough to move to sparring with the blade” He said. I resisted the urge to throw a little tantrum. Sparring was fun. This was cruelty. I understood it though, so as much as I wanted to I couldn't bring myself to begrudge it. He called my break over and instructed me to run two laps around the arena. I didn't bother arguing, as when I did this morning he added a lap for each word of complaint. I may be a messenger, but I was used to walking, not running.  
I made it one full round when a soldier fell into step beside me. I glanced to my side and realized that it was the one who had sent the pink gown. I gave him a small smile in acknowledgment.  
“ Kaladin is training you pretty harshly, isn't he?” He asked, barely out of breath as he kept up with my pace. I shrugged as well as I could while running.  
“ He is doing it for my own benefit.” I defended. He opened his mouth to argue more when I noticed Kaladin's look from across the arena and picked up the pace. He got the hint and stayed behind in the dust that I kicked up. I came to a grinding halt in front of Kaladin, breath burning in my lungs.  
“ Enjoyed?” He asked. His tone was flat, unreadable. I shook my head.  
“ Could have fooled me. Training is over for today.” He said. I almost argued, but I was so tired that I would accept his anger in exchange for a bath, a meal, and clean clothing. I couldn't imagine doing this everyday.  
“ See you later then?” I said gently. He didn't meet my eyes as he cummone dhis blade to spar with an eager and waiting soldier, but nodded. I almost bowed to him as I left, catching myself in an awkward tilt that had him grinning before he could stop himself. I flicked my braid over my shoulder and left. I made a beeline for Shallans tent, eager to catch her up on my day. She had expressed a desire to join in the training, but that had been rejected by Adolin. We did promise to show her some pointers when it came to sparring.  
I flicked open the tent entrance to find it absent of Shallan. Her maid informed me that she went for a stroll with Adolin, but I helped myself to a quick bath and changed into a simple dress I had left there for this occasion. The maid appeared with some food that I ate as quickly as I dared, before curling up on the small lounge chair for a quick nap, feeling the tired into my bones.

I woke to the sound of Kaladin talking. But it was awfully familiar, the words he was saying, and I realized that it was from his favorite book, The Way of Kings. I didnt move, listening to the soothing sound before it registered as odd. I sat up with a jolt. It must have only been an hour or two as some daylight still streamed into the tent, highlighting the large table that he, Adolin, and Shallan sat at.  
“ I think you're more obsessed with that book than my father” Adolin teased, shoving a bite of food in his mouth. He shrugged, then turned with a start when he realized that I was up, closing the book guiltily. My sleep-addled brian was a few steps behind, not quite realizing what I had seen.  
“ Good morning, Jin. I’m guessing Kaladin wore you at training?” Adolin teased. Shallan pinched his arm with her freehand and offered me an apologetic look.  
My eyes returned to Kaladins, which had now turned back to brown.  
“ You were...reading?” I asked hesitantly. He looked down and nodded. Adolin and Shallan seemed confused at the exchange.  
“ You never knew he could read? It's his claim to fame, besides for being a radiant of course.” Shallan interjected. I barely heard her over the sudden anger. He lied, for weeks. He let me read to him every night and pretended that he needed it. I couldn't even look at him. I storme out of the tent, no destination in mind other than getting as far away from him as possible before my temper exploded.


End file.
